Viva La Difference!

​                There is a common myth that people need to discover if they are compatible before they marry. The truth is that absolutely no two people are compatible when they get married! Both have a great many adjustments to make and so much to learn in order to become compatible.
                When we first got married we had to make a lot of changes and compromises. We even debated over how the roll of bath tissue was supposed to be placed. Should it roll out on top or from the bottom of the roll. You can easily have a real fight over something trivial. Then there are the big issues. How money should be handled was a big one. One of you thinks, “Why can’t they just be on time?” and the other thinks “Why are they always rushing me?”.
                It is easy to get irritated. You grew up doing things one way and all of a sudden you are told your whole family has done it wrong all your life and you have to do it differently. You find it hard not to get resentful. You ask yourself, “Why do they have to have this attitude? Why do they always do the same thing that gets on my nerves over and over again?” Resentment builds up and that leads to arguments. Your relationship suffers.
                I am glad we had our differences when we got married. I had some rough edges and attitudes that needed to change and she helped me see that and make those changes. I had to learn she had needs that were important even though they felt trivial or silly to me.
                She had strengths that counteracted my weaknesses. I had strengths that she needed me to provide. We complimented each other amazingly well. It is truly wonderful how the Lord put us together to help one another.
                Have you tried thanking the Lord for your differences? Instead of resenting your spouse for their differences how much better it is to appreciate your spouse for them.
                Janice and I went to a marriage retreat in March that was put on by our Baptist Association, the Triad Church Network. There we were told “The happiest and healthiest couples learn how to celebrate differences.” I encourage you to celebrate your spouse’s unique talents. It is wise to complement your spouse every day.
                “Three things are too wondrous for me; four I can’t understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship at sea, and the way of a man with a young woman.” Proverbs 30:18-19, CSB. 
 
Pastor Pat